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Katie Smith

Should my kids be bored?



Do you think boredom is a good thing? I believe it benefits us, but I have also seen it turn into mayhem, but I recently recognized the difference between being bored and being idle.


Idleness is different than boredom. Idleness signifies a state of lazy, pointless, or purposeless existence. Boredom means lacking interest in the current activity or state your residing. Therefore, being idle creates busybodies getting into troublesome business--other people's business--while being bored creates an opportunity for creativity and change in order to start a new kind of business.


Since we "took our kids away" from their familiar activities and environments, it has been tempting to feel guilty whenever they seem bored. I found myself owning the responsibility of their constant entertainment should they have no other playmates where we parked. While cognitively I knew the inaccuracy of these feelings, I didn't realize how often I was utilizing technological input to keep them from getting bored so that I didn't feel guilty.


"Sure you can listen to another audiobook, watch another educational program, find a new course, club, or a challenge online." Something should stimulate their thoughts since they didn't have any other friends. Even though some of their education can and should be tech-driven, we were deferring to screens too often as a habitual default.


In reality, living a mobile life means that our kids should rarely be bored because their environment constantly changes. They should have infinite, new ways of growing their creativity. Yet, like anyone, living anywhere, regular screen input becomes a drug. The moment things are turned off or taken away, detox begins. How do I think critically or creatively without an electronic guide telling me where to start? What did I do before videos explained everything to me?


A secular psychologist from Mayo Clinic agrees with me on the benefits boredom.

"Consuming so much time on electronics lessens the amount of bored time, but it also causes a different problem. The less people experience boredom, the less equipped the brain is to deal with it. Boredom can be more uncomfortable or distressing for people feeling fearful, anxious or depressed." (Ashok Seshadri, M.D., "Boost your Brain with Boredom" 9/14/22, MayoClinicHealthSystem.org)


Are you bored yet? Just reading an article feels boring because we are used to fast answers and quick responses.


So it seems on one hand, we need more boring, down time. On the other hand, idleness can cause issues. In fact the Bible warns everyone to move away from idleness and pursue honest, hard work.


"Keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive...We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies. Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the food they eat." (2 Thes. 3:6, 11-12) "You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. (1 Thes. 4:11-12).


In other words, when we give ourselves or our kids new challenges, we all learn to tackle and triumph correspondingly, even if that challenge is occupying time when bored. We saw first hand how to decrease idleness in the midst of boredom. When our eldest son was becoming bothersome to his brother's (a busybody), we gave him specific jobs-- setting up and breaking down our home each week in order to give his hands something to do. At first he dragged his feet, but he grew increasingly hard-working as he felt purposeful. Soon he created an entire allowance spreadsheet with the thought of buying his own vehicle or home to set up in the near future.


While being idle is disruptive and destructive, being bored has many benefits. Even though our kids don't have the same set of friends or activities as we travel, they are constantly learning new skills because they have more down time. Habit-forming routines can create an inability to handle down time or the curve balls that force life adjustments. If we cannot adjust to boredom, then we will always look for something outside of ourselves--something in this world-- to satisfy us. Boredom is not the problem, but our response to that uncomfortable time, which will determine our level of peace in any and every situation.



~Carefully and Carelessly Bored

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