People keep asking us what our plan for next year on the road. How long will we travel? Where are we going? When will we settle down somewhere?
Maps are our constant visual these days. New cities, new parks, and new roads all mean we constantly have a map on one of our phones directing our path. As such, the boys have grown accustomed to knowing exact times of departure and arrival... every. single. day.
Recently, one of my kids was quite crabby, so I suggested a nap while we traveled. I realized he couldn't take his eyes off the map. After 45 minutes, I turned around and asked why he wasn't even trying to get a little shut eye. He said, "Well, we only have 20 minutes before we arrive, so I can't sleep now."
It was at that moment I realized we needed to turn off the map, but that's when the real problem showed itself. ALL the boys proceeded to complain... How much longer? When will we get there? How much time is left? Where are we going!? What are we even doing!? You could actually see the anxiety coming out of their pours as they sat in the unknown.
Unknown-- the root cause of anxiety.
But, what if the unknown is exactly where God asks us to sit?
Honestly, we feel called to embrace the unknown, but it isn't always easy. Like most people I have always hated change because it brings with it a bunch of new unknowns. It takes time to become so familiar with a place that you can actually feel comfortable turning off your maps.
Moving deeper into the unknown means everything has the potential to create more anxiety. On the other hand, it also creates a potential for more faith. By God's grace, I'm living proof that you can fully change so that you embrace change and all its unknowns. Without change, you grow stale and useless. Without unknowns you stay safe and comfortable. In the past God threw unknowns at me like a professional pitcher, but they kept me in the center of the plate, His will. After enough curve balls, I began to value the unknowns.
Martin Luther said, "Plunge into the deep waters beyond your own comprehension, and [God] will help you to comprehend as He does. Bewilderment is true comprehension. Not to know where you are going is the true knowledge. Wherefore it is not you, no man, no living creature, but I [God himself], who instructs you by my word and Spirit in the way you should go. Not the work which you choose, not the suffering you devise, but the road which is contrary to all that you choose or contrive or desire--that is the road you must take." (The Cost of Discipleship, Bonhoeffer, 93)
So how can you embrace the unknowns or the changes God is stirring your way? Sit in the unknown long enough to let it change you, however long it takes. Like ice sitting in the warm sun, your heart of stone will eventually melt into a heart of flesh. "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my [maps]" (Ezekiel 36:26-27) Then you'll have a new heart that feels completely at peace with change. You will feel a known God guiding your steps, by faith, not by your man-made maps. Then it won't feel strange to NOT KNOW where you are going. God Knows.
~Not Knowing Carefully and Carelessly
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