Now that we travel everywhere so quickly, I need discernment quickly. Not in a rushed way, not in an anxious way, but in an imperative way. I don't have the luxury of letting time tell me whether someone is genuine or not. I don't have months to get to know people and decide if they are worth my most valuable commodity--time. I have to decide pretty quickly whether or not to expose myself to someone I just met.
Within days or sometimes hours, I meet, get acquainted with, and say goodbye to someone that often resembles my closest friend. So the question arises: how do I know if I really know the person I just met? Better yet, the question for everyone: how do you know who is worth maintaining a relationship with if you haven't spent a lifetime together?
Whether it's love at first sight, friends forever, or just someone you were meant to dive deep in a short time, there are difficult depths of discernment required to stay out of the weeds, while also scraping away seaweed that blocks the bottom line in a relationship.
Even though "time will always tell," what do you do without much time?
After visiting various community gatherings, festivals, and churches, I've noticed a couple things that help me answer this question. My gut shows up first, but it doesn't always align with my heart. I've had some people say that we must have met before, that we feel like long lost cousins, and our conversation flows naturally, but at the same time, those same people have sparked a red flag-- something feels off or forced in my heart.
I think there are two important factors when considering how to open your heart and life to someone: humility and slowness of speech.
Now for someone who loves to chat, I'm not saying you have to be introverted to be trusted, in fact the opposite is often true. You can be the first to ask sincere questions or the first to share insightful encouragement. However, when we find people who trust themselves so deeply that they lack humility or grace, then we have seen such people draw us away from where God was leading.
If we want to "be the church on the road," then we can engage and enjoy getting to know all types of people regardless of motives, but we don't have to open our hearts and minds to misleading relationships. A detour that draws us or others closer to Jesus is worth the time, but one that takes us on a wild goose chase may be worth exiting.
There's always a warmth and familiarity with people God has connected us to, but there have also been people who want to open their homes and draw us closer, when in fact there was something not quite in step with where God wanted us to go.
As such, the only way to know for sure whether or not you know someone is to take a minute away from that person, pray for God to provide wisdom and discernment, and then move accordingly. You are at peace and willing to invest as much or as little time as God allows. The freedom that comes from trusting God rather than your own gut is astounding. Our guts gurgle with the slightest indigestion, but when we invite Jesus to direct our hearts, then we have One who can withstand any number of acidic meals.
God has revealed truth to us and affirmed or detoured our steps time and again. We need only stop, pray, and walk by faith. It only takes a minute, but it saves us a lot of heartache later.
~Knowing People Carefully and Carelessly
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